What’s in the bucket, Lilly?

Everyone should have a bucket list. Ambition is a good thing and we should look forward and outward, not inward and backward. A bucket list is a roadmap to the future. And here is mine! 

1. Shout out “I’m a Transvestite!” very loud. Really. Just like that. Just when the feeling takes me. But hopefully when I’m walking on the moor and not in a meeting at work. It would be great to really affirm, in the loudest possible way what, in the deepest possible way, I’m feeling inside. This ought to be an easy one. I will keep you posted.

2. Spend 24 hours as a woman. It could be a quiet rainy Sunday in, but I would prefer a Saturday out in one of the great capitals of the world. Let’s say Amsterdam – I would fit in well there. Or Venice!  It would be shopping and coffees from dawn to dusk. What a day that would be! I have the blister plasters ready.

3. Get my nails done in a nail bar. I’d love to have a girly chat and talk about nails. What would the other customers think, I wonder?

4. Tell a good friend that I am a transvestite. This is a serious one. I know I can’t come out fully but it would be such a release to share something so personal with someone who would understand. It would take something heavy inside me that is weighing me down and turn it into something uplifting. It would take something that can, at times, be a guilty secret and turn it into something good: An honest admission.

5. Have a consultation at a beautician’s. Right there in the store. Amongst all those women, sharing in the buzz about the latest colours and having intimate conversations about what makes them look good and what doesn’t. There’s a multi-billion-dollar business aimed just at them and I want in on it. I want the Rimmell look too!

6. Tell my dogs I’m a transvestite. Already done it. You should have seen them when they first saw me in a wig!

7. Have a bra fitting. Apparently most women are wearing the wrong bra size and have never been measured properly. If I did what most women have not done, that would put me ahead of some of the competition, wouldn’t it? A fitting would not take long. They would ask “what is your shirt size? 38? Then you are a 38. Bra fitted!” 

“But what about cup size?” I would ask.

“Take your pick!” they would say!

8. Afternoon tea ‘in character’. English Afternoon Tea is the perfect set-piece opportunity for practising feminine skills, to be not just a woman but a Lady! I would be perched on the edge of the sofa, knees together, holding my fine china cup and saucer with elbows in and little fingers out. I would make equally fine polite conversation, embellished with my customary sparkling wit. I would have the waitresses pour my tea for me, just to give them the opportunity to look, up close. “Is she or isn’t she?” they would whisper amongst themselves! Afternoon Tea is so refined and traditional, just like me!

9. Go to a museum. Lilly is not just lace and make up, you know. She is a thinking woman’s woman and needs to keep her mind fed. She feels a strong connection with the past and its people. So to spend an afternoon among them would be like telling them, silently, “This is me”.

10. Wear an absolute blancmange of a dress, just for the sheer fun of it. Some men want to wear a wedding dress but I would want more colour. The whole aim of the exercise would be to have as much skirt as possible. I’d have mountains of underskirt that I would have to hitch up in armfuls to sit down. I’d swan around like a southern belle and practise getting in and out of cars all day!
So that’s my list! It doesn’t sound too hard a challenge does it? Perhaps I should try harder, raise my sights. Anyway, a bucket list is never complete, is it? 

So what’s on your list?

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