I have agreed to do a series of 60-second interviews for the fashion press. This is a very popular format for features on celebrities – it’s quick to do and fits easily on the magazines’ back pages. The plan is for them to ring me up with no notice and ‘put me on the spot’. They ask me one single fashion question and I have 60 seconds to answer it, just like that – no notice and no rehearsals. Astrid, from Cosmopolitan is the first to ring.
Cosmopolitan: Lilly, readers would love to hear what you would wear if you were invited to present the Oscars.
Me: Right. Well, Astrid. I would wear a little black number. I’ve never actually worn a little black cocktail dress and I would love to try one. The skirt would be ultra short, stretchy and tight and the top would be off-the-shoulder with a big broad feature-collar. I would wear glossy, high-sheen skin-coloured tights so the stage lights would shine off them. Accentuating my legs like that would make my short dress really pop. I would wear the tallest stiletto heels you have ever seen, to make my legs look even longer. I might not look very elegant, clopping across the stage to the microphone but then the hosts really just stand there, don’t they? I would wear my favourite red wig all piled up high, but with wisps and curls strategically pulled down to give an added sense of vulnerability. I would wear my favourite diamonte drop earrings. Oh, no I wouldn’t, they lend you fabulously valuable jewellery for the Oscars, don’t they? [Astrid says they do]. I would wear gorgeously long diamond drop earrings, worth $10 million each. I would pretend I’d lost one in the hotel after the ceremony but then I would ‘find’ it again. There would be stories in all the papers and the jewellers would be ecstatically happy with the publicity. And I would wear a massive diamond ring on each finger. [Astrid asks me if that might not be a little over the top]. Okay, then maybe just one massive ring on each hand. How are we doing for time? Makeup? Okay, the makeup would be done by one of the Hollywood greats, a makeup artist to all the stars. It would take all afternoon and I would come away with all the top tips used by Angelina Jolie and Cate Blanchett… Oh! Is that it? 60 seconds isn’t nearly as long as you think when you’re talking all the time!